My Five Little Monkeys

525,600 Minutes.

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights

In cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.

In five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the life?

It was a year ago tonight that I sat in this very chair and thought about my family's fate... Tried to figure out what card was going to be dealt next... Where would we go from here... What if ?

One year ago tomorrow, Jon was diagnosed with Cancer. I remember feeling so sorry for Jon, and at the same time, so sorry for myself. I felt like I had already dealt with enough in the past year... Couldn't God just please cut me a break?

I spent a good portion of 2007 rationalizing with God, and making deals with him... If he let Jon live... I would... If he kept his counts high enough I'd... If he could just... Instead of bargaining with God, I definitely sometimes felt like I'd sold my soul to the Devil. I know now, that Devil was Cancer...

As the end of 2007 drew near, I felt like Jon had totally kicked the Cancers butt. I really felt like he was such a shining example of how people with Cancer should look! He was rarely sick after treatments, never missed a day of work aside from appointment days, he was a rockstar...He still is. He's my Rockstar...

While we were going through treatment, I kept telling Jon that it would be really good to plan a trip... For in the future... Something to look forward to. A mark on the calendar to focus on... We never really got around to doing that... It was either the kids, or finances, or life, it all just got in the way. Then Jon won that great trip to Puerto Rico a few months ago... We tried to look at that as our getaway, but it was so focused on work that it was hard to focus on relaxing. As time went on, the idea of getting away sort of slipped out from underneath of us... Until Monday.

In the mail we received an offer from the Hotel we stayed in for our 1st anniversary... They were offering for us to go, and stay for 4 nights... For $250. The normal rate is $200 per night. We took this as a sign and tried to get some things in order... We will be able to travel while Jon's Mom is still on Summer Vacation, also My Mom & Dad are going to take one of the kiddos for a few nights... All while our Au Pair is here as well. The coverage should be really good. This is also a great time because our fifth anniversary is coming up in September. We had said that we would love to get back to Cancun someday, and how appropriate that we'll be there again not only celebrating Jon's new lease on life, but also our life together...

So very very excited. :)

Rainy Holiday

 We were so bummed to see the big, heavy rain clouds when we woke up on the 4th of July holiday... However it didn't slow us down too much from having fun! We still enjoyed time with friends and family... This is just a snippet of some of the photos we took... Hope your weekend was awesome, and far less rainy!!

The Little Things...

It's totally the little things, that I don't take for granted.

On Wednesday's the boys have therapy in the school that they will be attending next year. Up until now they have always had all of their therapy done here in our home. However, when we found out that they were eligible for summer services, I pushed for them to be taught in the school itself as opposed to the therapist coming to us. I know some people will scratch their head over this, as it's totally more work for me. Instead of having a therapist come to me, I now have to go to them... But I was thinking this would be great for the boys. It would be great to help transition them into this upcoming school year. I'm nervous enough about sending them off to school, I don't want them to be scared about a new school too. This situation seems ideal.
Anyway, this morning I packed the boys up and we headed off to see our teacher Stacey. I left Evan with her, happily playing with a plethora of toys that we don't have at home. I took Jack with me, and we left to run an errand to our local bank.
As I pulled up to the bank, I thought to myself for one fleeting second that it would probably be ten times easier to just go through the drive-thru. Surely they could process this transaction there... What if Jack acted out, what if he threw a tantrum, what if he ran away from me... What if he tried to unlock the safe?! I pushed through my momentary anxiety and unlatched Jacks carseat. He patiently waited with me as I got my purse and he held my hand as we walked inside... Entering the building I quickly surveyed the lobby for any potential things that he might attach himself to, and also looked at the people working there. They all looked pleasant enough... Of course everyone does until your child begins screaming and singing, and you have to calmly explain that "he just doesn't know any better, I'm sorry."... In any regard, Jack stood so patiently and perfectly with me and waited for the Teller to finish my transaction. The whole visit took probably less than 5 minutes, but still... It was huge! We calmly walked back out to the car before I did a very large celebratory dance with my son. My son who at one point and time couldn't even look at the mall without falling to pieces. I proceeded to call anyone who would listen to me, and proclaimed the awesomeness that is Jack-Jack... Such progress, Such a Big Boy!
We drove back over to the school, I told our new teacher all about Jack's newest accomplishment. I think she could tell just how excited I was. We talked briefly about some ideas that she had for working with them, and I mentioned to her very randomly that neither of the boys would ride in a shopping cart. That they also wouldn't ride in any stroller aside from their triplet stroller. We chatted about this briefly, and then Evan and I left. With the girls Birthday coming up, I headed over to Toys R Us and thought we could browse around. Evan is usually pretty good to walk with me in stores without touching things, or grabbing things off of shelves. Also, because of his non-verbalness he doesn't bug me to get him every single toy that we pass :) (there is a silver lining to them not being able to speak sometimes...)
Pulling up to the store, I knew that I could attempt to put him into the cart and possibly tick him off so much that we would need to leave, or I could just let him walk...Giving him his way. I knew that I had nothing to lose as I wasn't here on an actual errand, I was just here to look around. I carried Evan over to the cart, didn't say a word and simply put him into the cart... It was as if the sky opened up and the heavens shone down on me. I can't lie. I did feel my eyes welling up and tears forming... I hugged Evan very tightly and told him how proud of him I was. I'm not sure if he understood me, but I like to think he felt it in my hug.
Evan was able to ride in that cart for well over a half hour.
30 minutes.
He was in that cart until I decided that we were done. I was AMAZED, I was pleased, I felt again so blessed.
The progress that Evan has made is overwhelming. The progress Jack has made is astounding. Everyday I look at these boys and I wonder how on earth I got SO lucky to have the two of them in my life to remind me of all those little things... To me they're not so little anymore. They're absolutely HUGE.

Bring Us Your Healthy! We'll Make Them Sick!

So on Sunday, we hosted a bit of a playdate... Karen's kidlets came over, because, well it was Sunday. This has turned into a bit of a regular scene of events. It's Sunday, thereby they're here. I love it. I also had mentioned to my friend Nita that Karen was going to be here, and she was dying to meet Karen... So before I knew it, we had a full blown playdate on our hands!
I was excited about everyone coming over and hanging out at our house, we certainly have the room to entertain, and of course the ability to shuffle everyone outside if things get chaotic. Karen's eldest son J is older than my kiddos by just about 2 years. He was able to take full advantage of our new playground that the kids got for their Birthday, and also play on the slide that Jon and I gave to the kids. He seemed to really enjoy his time here...
Unfortunately just as we were putting the kids down for their nap, I happened to notice as I was changing William's diaper that he had an unsightly rash on his bottom. This past week, had been a bit warm, so I wrote it off to heat rash, and let it slide. That afternoon, after all five of my children had played on the waterslide with J, and Lilley had successfully tried to replace Baby Ricky's binky on more than one occasion, Jon and I collapsed, exhausted, onto the couch.
Will crawled up onto my lap and explained that his bum was hurting him. I then remembered that rash. Peeling off his diaper, his bottom looked terrible... Red, blistered, just awful. I immediately thought of the herpes virus that the girls are carrying, while no one else has caught this mysterious virus... I thought for sure that this was that virus. I was filled with dread. Just then I noticed Will scratch his hand, and I saw two very symmetrical little blisters on his knuckles. I was instantly relieved...and just as quickly, I was feeling terrible. I knew what the kids had, and knew how contagious it was. Hand Foot & Mouth disease is a nasty virus and causes these icky little blisters. They can be so painful, which is why Will was complaining about his bum hurting him so much... I immediately hopped online and contacted Karen and Nita... Telling them what the deal was... What are the stinkin' chances that the ONE day that I have a house full of kiddos, my kids come down with the creeping crud... What are the chances... Pretty good clearly.
We took Will in to see Dr. Awesome yesterday just to confirm that it was in fact HFM and it is. He did tell us though, that it's a good chance that the other kiddos wont get it because they're still protected by maternal antibodies. Ricky is just about 4 months old, and Karens kids are almost a year but are still breastfed.
Needless to say, I'm going to have to quarantine my kids... And I'm also sitting her scratching my head wondering where on earth we got this too. However, we've had this before and it was SO much worse the last time. This time around the blisters are really only on their bottoms, and scattered across their hands and feet. We have NONE in their mouths and throats which I think is a miracle in itself. So we'll take what we can get, and thank God for that small blessing!

I'm Ok. You Ok?

I try to give my kids as much individualized attention as possible. Some days I feel like this is totally attainable, and other days I feel like I'm fighting a never ending battle. Every day without fail Evan & Jack both receive time with me, that is all theirs. It may not be time that is spent doing something hysterically fun, but I try my best to make our time together as fun as possible. I do therapy with them Monday thru Friday, and I love to have that individual time one on one with them. Whether it's first thing in the morning, having them help me get the clothes for the day, or simply doing tasks around the house, they get time with me.
With the other three kids, I find that sometimes just spending time with Mommy doesn't cut it. Sometimes I have to have something fun going on in order to keep them entertained. I can totally understand this... Our au pair Adriana is pretty kick butt... She loves to dance with them, sing, play games, she has FAR more energy than I do on any given day, so it's no wonder that the kids love her so. Heck, I love her!
Regardless, I still try so hard to get the kids out of the group and spend the time with them individually. I think it's also really good for me as their Mom, I love having just one kiddo... It allows me to see how the other half lives.
This morning, I noticed Ellie was being especially clingy. Not really fussy, but just clingy. Hugging me a lot, wanting to give me a lot of kisses, and overall just loving on me. She can be a very lovable child when she wants to be. I knew that I had errands that I needed to run this morning, and the thought of leaving her behind made me a little sad... So I packed her up and brought her along with me. All of my chores were short enough that she was easily entertained, and we were home very quickly. I loved having her with me...
I noticed however, that while we were driving, from the back seat, she said to me in her very tiny voice "Mommy? Is Jackie?" "Mommy? Is Weeyem?" "You Ok?"
I had to feel a little bad at that point, because I had to tell Ellie, that her brothers were at home... That they were with Adriana... That they were in fact ok, but regardless, they weren't here. She was missing her siblings... It's funny, that even though we were out of the house doing something fun, she would have rather had been back in this house fighting with them.
Go figure.

Wii. I love you.

We threw ourselves last night, head first into the great big world of Wii. I had been wanting to try out this gaming console ever since it hit the market in 2007. Our very dear friends Rick & Nita have one, and since Rick is a bit of a gaming guru, he seems to have an in with all of the local game shops. When they get new things he hears about it. When they got a shipment of Wii's recently he picked up a few for friends, us being one of them! How lucky we felt!
We decided that we would borrow it first and 'test drive' it if you will... You see Jon and I aren't really video game people per se. We own a Playstation console from when I was pregnant with the triplets, and I had tons of fun with that. It kept me really busy during those long days of gestating with nothing to do. I was excited about what the Wii promised, it sounded so different from your 'typical' video game! I had even gone over to Nita's house a few months ago in hopes of playing with the Wii, and had never gotten around to playing, I was bummed.
So we got the Wii at the kiddos party, and have been trying to find the right time to put it up. My friend Melissa and her husband Kevin usually come over for dinner on Wednesday nights with their three sons. However Melissa had the audacity to leave me here alone for two weeks whilst she go gallivant off and visit family in New York. I'm not bitter. Anyway, Jon figured why make Kevin eat dinner alone just because Melissa was away. All the more reason to invite him over! And what a great time to pull out the Wii! (heh)
So it's just what we did...
Oh My Goodness. I felt like a crack addict. I could NOT get enough of it. We stuck mainly to the sports game that came with the console. We luckily had 3 controllers, which worked out perfectly. The three of us bowled & played Tennis. Jon seemed to think that he was really playing the sports and we thought he was going to have a stroke. But Damn. He's got a mean serve. I'd hate to play him in real life. After Jon sufficiently wore himself out, Kevin and I continued on and played more tennis. We boxed (and he beat the crap out of me...HE HIT A GIRL!). We played golf (and I kicked his butt...he swore he plays better IRL. I'd like to see that.), and... Best of all... We played baseball. Oh my. The coolest part of it all? And it was a total fluke... Kevin is a HUGE Dodgers fan (don't ask, I don't know why.) and he was on the BLUE team!! I as we all know, am a HUGE Red Sox fan, and My players were RED!! Isn't that neat?? Yeah, so just further proof that it's the little things that make me happy. In any regard, I hit a handful of home runs and beat the pants of of his stinky Dodgers. He did win one game, but we won't talk about that.
In any regard, I'm in love. I'm totally and absolutely smitten with this thing. I want to try that Wii Fit game... I want to marry this thing... And now I'm afraid of what my house is going to look like in a week. Lord help us.

PCP, RBC, MCV? Can I buy a vowel?

Over the past few months I have been absolutely exhausted. There have been more than a few days that I've felt like I just couldn't possibly carry on, because of this fatigue. However, I'm caring for 5 kids, a house, a husband, and all of that is kind of time consuming. It doesn't allot a ton of time for me to take care of... well, me. So instead of taking care of myself the way that I should, most of the time I just brush things off until they get so bad or so frustrating, that I lose my mind. It's a great way of doing things, you should try it sometime.
Anyway, on Monday I had an appointment to meet with my Primary Physician. I needed a refill on one of my prescriptions and he felt it would be better to chat in person quickly, rather than refill it over the phone. I felt this was unnecessary, until they mentioned I hadn't been seen since November. So I made the appointment and dragged myself in.
When I got in there, my Doctor pleasantly listened to my refill request, asked how I was feeling, and then mentioned to me that I was a bit anemic. I thought this was a silly statement especially since I had just walked in the door. How on EARTH did he know what my blood looked like? Apparently blood was drawn waaay back in November. It was during that routine blood draw it was detected that I was anemic. So anemic in fact that I potentially needed a transfusion... Nobody called me. I wasn't mad really... I was just a little confused. My MD asked me if I had been having any problems that were out of the ordinary. Heavy periods, frequent nosebleeds, any gastric distress... I really have been totally healthy (knocking on wood) and haven't had anything making me think anything was wrong aside from this nagging fatigue.
Anyway, I did mention to him at that time that I was a little tired. He was concerned because my blood pressure was SO low (88/48) and my pulse was too... He suggested the idea of going and having a stress test done just to make sure my heart is working adequately. I assured him that I was fine, and that my BP has always run low. Anyway he threw out some very random thoughts about how to treat the anemia, some of which included bi-weekly iron infusions, he also mentioned eating a cow... He said the liver is the best part. I'm pretty sure that I'd rather be exhausted. Because there is just no way in heck that I am going to eat a liver. Uh Uh. Not gonnnna do it.
I'll keep you posted on how things go.

On The Road Again.

For those of you who don't know, my husband Jon occasionally has to travel for work. When we were first married, he would be gone for days on end to fabulous places. He had a good time with co-workers at various different TWC sites and enjoyed meeting other people within the company. He always came home with something fun for me. I never really minded him traveling so much... It wasn't until I became pregnant with the boys that I started worrying a little bit. When he would leave, I would fret incessantly... Would I go into pre-term labor? Would I fall down the stairs? Would I have a very sudden and unexplained craving for ice cream? What if I just needed a hug? So being the good husband that he is, he cut back on his travel time. He too felt a bit uncomfortable leaving me at home alone, and pregnant. So his trips became more infrequent, and I got more pregnant. When we finally had the boys home with us, my irrational fear was not if the boys were going to die in their sleep, or choke on their bottle, but whether or not Jon was going to have to leave town. I had no doubt in my mind that either my parents or his parents would come to help me out, if in fact he did have to go away. I was more concerned that he may never come back. Our house was crazy... We were living in a 1300 sq foot townhouse, and it was packed to the gills with stuff... We had long outgrown our home. To me the thought of a business trip sounded like a luxury, all inclusive, trip to the Caribbean. Thankfully he only had a few trips that he had to go away on, and even more thankfully, he came home after each one. We were always happy to have him home, a little more rested, a little happier to see us...
Since the kids have gotten older, It's become apparent to me now that I don't fret quite as much when the mention of a trip is on the horizon. Don't get me wrong, Jon will never travel as much as my friend Kelley, her husband travels a few times a month, and while she too has an Au Pair, she handles it so well. I don't know that I could be that good about it... Back in the day when the kids were little, Jon used to preface the subject of travel like this... "so I've got some good news and some bad news...The good news is that I'll be back in like threeeee days!! The bad news is that I've got to go to Kansas City." I used to cry and carry on, and try to make him cancel, and find someone to take his place... It was quite a show. Now, as much as I miss him when he leaves, it's not as much of a big deal.
I love how things change like that.
On Sunday Jon told me that he was going to have to go to Cincinnati for the day on Monday and that he should be home Monday night, late. I was fine with that. Unfortunately there was some weather here in the DC area that forced his plane in Cincinnati to not take off, and kept him there until this morning. Where his morning plane was also delayed because of a broken part. He should have taken off at 745, as of 1015 he's still on the ground.
I'm glad I'm ok with him traveling now, because the way things are looking...He might never get home.

Party Time!

Five kids. One party. I'd say I totally got all the bang for my buck. I'm not too sure how much longer we're going to be able to pull off the joint party thing, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to push it on them for as long a humanly possible.
The kiddos birthday party was today, and man oh man was it fun. They had a super huge bounce house thingy, with a slide, and it was enough to keep them entertained for hours. Best part of it all, it arrived long before the guests arrived. So just in case they were afraid to get in once everyone showed up, they were able to play in it all morning. It was nice. However no amount of people were going to deter my children from hanging out in the House of Bounce... It was pretty wild. They loved it. SO different from last year.
We were able to hang out with friends, family, neighbors, folks I hadn't seen in decades... It was really a nice day. Best of all the weather held out, and while it was hot, it wasn't too humid. I was so worried that it was going to be terribly humid and nasty... Thank God for small miracles!! :)
Here's a small montage of the photos for your viewing pleasure...

Radishes & Monkeys!

I love blogging. I truly do. Despite the crap that I occasionally get from random weirdos, I truly love blogging. There is a certain sense of camaraderie that I get from other people reading my blog, people who can obviously relate to me in a way that nobody else can. People who read my story from day to day, in order to glean some bit of advice, support, friendship... Lucky for everyone out there, I offer it all. I'm a blog for one stop shopping.
The people that I've met in my journeys over the past 2 years have been awesome, some of the folks are just too far to meet in person, but I've still somehow become intertwined in their life.
Then, there are others that live close by... These folks, I've been so blessed by. My friend Karen, has been in my life for just about a year now. What I did before she came along? I have NO idea. She tolerates my craziness, talks me down from my highest perches, and makes me go see the Doctor...Even when I'm adamant that I do NOT need a Doctor. Turns out she's right 99% of the time, and I typically did need the Doctor. I hate that about her. She loves to pack her kiddos up into her car, and drive out here to the country to see me. I love having her. It's unfortunate though, that every time she comes to visit, she has to leave. And nearly every single time she's left, no sooner is her car out of the driveway, do I miss her again. It's a terrible thing. Even when we've run out of things to talk about, I still don't want her to leave...Lucky for me, she keeps coming back. Lucky Lucky me.
My friend Amy and her lil' bubba Carter came out to visit us today... Our household was in full Monkey Mania. In a way I felt a little bad having her out on such a crazy day... You see, we're having the kids birthday party tomorrow. We had quite a bit going on, but to turn down a visit?? It seemed preposterous! No amount of craziness should deter friends from getting together, right? Well... Half Right. I was super wicked pisser excited to have Amy & Carter out to the house, and finally have her meet and see all of the kids in person, but I felt like my head wasn't in it. My brain kept drifting and I was super obsessed with the list of crap we had to get done...Meanwhile the list really wasn't that long, nor that important. But I just couldn't focus. Needless to say...While the visit was fun, I felt like I was robbing Amy of the real me, the Jessica who is focused and fun, and can have a conversation about pretty much anything...
Anyway, hopefully the next time we get together, my brain will join us... Because today it just SO wasn't there. However, here's a photo that I totally stole off of Amy's site... I'm sneaky like that.